Many expats are used to domestic help be they nannies when they were young or house staff that were employed as they grew up. Then again it’s surprising the reluctance of a large portion of international residents, especially ones from Europe, to hire domestic help. “It’s just not in my DNA,” one expat said with a sigh when the subject came up.

It’s time to put those egalitarian emotions aside: this is Asia and there’s nothing at all shameful in getting domestic help, in fact many locals will look at you askance if you don’t, akin to walking in the midday sun. Almost every middle-class household to some variety either has live-in or hired help to cook and clean, especially families with children. You can either have a live-in person, someone who you provide room and board for, sign a contract with through an agency that adheres to a government programme set up for this purpose or simply hire a local cleaner to come at a schedule you determine.

In the former, you’ll need to seek out a government approved agency and recruit from their list, usually Filipino, Thai, Indonesia or Indian, and go through the bonding process. Prices are determined by country of origin (Indonesian maids run about RM450-550 per month; Filipinos RM950) and contracts are typically two years long. In the latter situation with a live-out maid (called ‘Ah Mah’), it’s a word-of-mouth game; talk to friends (especially ones in your area) and get referenced help. Expect to guide them on your needs and pay them fairly (RM5-8 per hour is standard). If you want more institutional help there are cleaning services available. But of course they are more expensive than an Ah mah cleaner and frankly, not as much of an experience as making a bond with a local.